I was going to write about the title of the blog this post and why I chose it, but something more pertinent came up. That is, I'm up by a couple pounds this morning.
Not too long ago, this would have sent me into a tailspin of despair. And by not too long ago, I mean, like, a month ago. But I've been trying to take a more relaxed outlook on my weight. It's been a long road and I'm kind of tired of kicking myself so much for being fat. Your tush starts to look like a kaleidoscope of bruises and then sitting is a pain... you know what I mean.
It's still a process. I have to actively tell myself, "You are no less lovable, sweet, intelligent or beautiful because you are 2 pounds heavier." And even then, my inner critic gives my inner hippy a dour, blank stare and sort of continues on her merry-less way. I have to tell myself it's only temporary. Even if temporary translates to one day, one week, or one month I will see the number on the scale decrease, eventually.
I'm a pretty impatient person. Hence the daily weighing where I can't wait to see results. Occasionally, like today, this habit backfires on me and I feel kind of down and mopey instead of motivated. Years ago, against all reason, I would have turned to food for comfort. I would like to say that urge no longer exists, but that'd be a dirty dirty lie. The only real difference is that I recognize the utter insanity of it. I'm much more in tune with my body and can tell when I'm searching for food out of boredom, frustration, sadness, any myriad of emotions. I can also recognize the difference between thirst and hunger.
So yes. Taking two steps back isn't such a bad thing. Maybe you'll get a new perspective. You never know.
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